


It Seemed a Place for Us to Dream

by jojothecr



Series: Change of Season 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Written in 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 03:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojothecr/pseuds/jojothecr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/220336">Change of Season, Love Can Die </a>...<br/><em>One day before Jensen's wedding...</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	It Seemed a Place for Us to Dream

The city lights flicker lazily, glimmering through the leaves as the soft wind ruffles them gently, making the streets appear like they’re dancing. It’s kinda poetic. Or just plain kitschy.

Elbows resting on the wooden rail of the balcony, Jared breathes in the fresh air, and closes his eyes briefly. The night smells like the Dallas he remembers. Like Texas. Home... Like Jensen.

“So...” He says as he pulls away, somehow forgetting to continue. Suddenly unable to remember what he actually wanted to say.

“So.” Jensen echoes behind him. Voice quiet and soft. Calm.

Jared turns to face him, only slowly distinguishing his figure in the shadows. He can see the burning end of the cigarette clasped in between Jensen’s fingers, the grey cloud of smoke rising up to the skies. “I thought you’d quit.”

“So did I,” Jensen returns involuntarily. Then pauses, like he finally realizes that he really is smoking. “Shit... I have.”

Jared smiles and reaches for the cigarette, stealing a drag. He hasn’t smoked for so long he’s amazed that he doesn’t cough now.

They pass the cigarette along in silence for a while, until it’s completely gone. The tranquillity is unusually heavy. Jared doesn’t like it.

“I am... sorry for the call,” he starts then, hesitantly, hoping the words will suddenly come to him, even though they haven’t until now. “You were right. I shouldn’t have said all that.” He finds Jensen’s eyes; intense and dark, understanding even when he doesn’t want them to be. “You gave me time. You waited long enough... Longer than you should have.”

“Jared.”

“I just wanna... you know. Apologize. I had a... weak moment back then.” _I found your T-shirt in my laundry._

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Jay.” Jensen sounds almost panicked as he takes a step back, backing up when Jared steps forward.

“It’s not,” Jared repeats. “Because it’s true. What I said... I shouldn’t have. But I meant it. I love you. And I miss you.” He curls his fingers around Jensen’s elbow, stroking the skin above with his thumb. “Miss us.” His other hand seizes Jensen’s wrist, fingers feeling for the pulse that rapidly speeds up underneath his touch. “I don’t understand how I could’ve let you go.”

Jensen opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. He swallows, staring up at Jared like he’s scared of him all of a sudden, and tries again. “You left,” he corrects; voice so weak it’s shaking. “You told me that you couldn’t be that kind of man... That you weren’t ready.”

Jared nods. He remembers the morning. Remembers Jensen in the bed beside him; asleep and naked, and so fucking beautiful. A piece of a universe he’d never thought he could be a part of. Still, he should have chosen a better time than their first anniversary.

“I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never felt this way before. I was... scared.”

“You think I wasn’t? I was in love with Danneel, plannin’ to get married... Then you... came ‘round. With all this crazy energy and your smiles. Your... your eyes and these damn dimples... I wasn’t prepared for that either.”

“But willin’ to try.”

“Yeah, well... you need two for that.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Hmm.” Jensen nods, glancing away. His eyes visibly glisten even in the dimmed light coming through the balcony door.

Jared watches him for a few loud, difficult heartbeats.  
He knows that Jensen believes in marriage. And that he doesn’t approve of divorce. That’s why he’s been hesitating about taking this step for so long. That’s why he’s getting married now, only a few months after Jared. Because what he had thought he could’ve had has fallen apart, leaving only one thing that he could count on. Danneel. She’d always been there. Like a safe harbour. Understanding. Giving him time and space, and chance to decide. And he did, eventually. Jared had pushed Jensen towards a decision he suddenly doesn’t want him to make.

Jared leans down, brushing his lips against Jensen’s; a soft, gentle, barely there touch, that earns him a hiccupping intake of breath.

“Jensen.”

Jensen sighs and looks up; torn between the two, such different, roads he can take.  
A sudden decision has him standing up on his tiptoes and twining his arms around Jared’s neck. He clutches the fabric of his T-shirt so tightly Jared believes he’ll tear it in half. Jensen’s lips part upon Jared’s, warm and sinfully tasty, insistent and hungry. His kiss tastes of cigarette smoke, and like I love you and I miss you and Goodbye all at once, and it makes Jared’s fingers tingle. Their tongues touching, Jared shifts to pull Jensen closer, but that’s when Jensen’s already drawing back.

He runs his tongue across his lower lip, mindlessly, tasting Jared, and shakes his head. “You’re married,” he says hoarsely, slipping from Jared’s embrace completely. “I’m gettin’ married tomorrow... I love her, Jared.” Though I love you more. “I think... I think that I can be happy with her. I can’t say no now.”

“I guess...” Jared whispers, struggling to keep his voice strong. “That sometimes it really is too late.” He smiles, but it only makes his face ache. “That’s good, Jensen... I want you to be happy. You deserve to be.”  
He moves forward again, wrapping his arms around Jensen in a tight hug. He holds him, onto him, feels him shake, and wishes he could never let him go.


End file.
